Bite
The normal man bites off what he can chew and digest of life, and no more. Men are not built to be gods, to take in the whole world, they are built like other creatures, to take in the piece of ground in front of their noses.
Only gods can take in the whole of creation because they alone can make sense of it, know what it is all about and for. But as soon as a man lifts his nose from the ground and starts sniffing at eternal problems like life and death, the meaning of a rose or a star cluster-then he is in trouble .
Ernest Becker - The Denial of Death
Chew
I overthink things. I always have. I know this because I have thought about it extensively. Yes, I have ‘overthunk’ overthinking.
In a recent conversation about the rules of social media engagement with someone whose opinions I very much respect, both for sometimes being wildly different from my own and at other times, taking a different approach to reach a similar conclusion, it was pointed out to me that I was overthinking the issue. In this particular instance, I was overthinking the motivations behind why people post on social media and how they deal with responses to said posts, but that is not the topic for today.
There was one other thing that struck me in the course of this argument and it was the statement that "life is not that deep". Now I'm inclined to disagree. I think life is that deep, however, I suppose I wouldn't be the overthinker I seem to be if I did not consider the question "should life be that deep?"
Life is a tragedy. It ends in death and destruction like tragedies do. Life is filled with war, and suffering and pain and of course joys but those tend to feel trivial and fleeting in the face of the aforementioned. And yet, numerous colloquialisms seem to advocate this ideology. (See YOLO, Seize the day, C'est la vie, Que sera sera, etc. I think it is fair that if you have one short, pain-filled life you might as well "do what thou wilt" while you still have the chance.
Side note - “Do what thou wilt” is the first statement of Thelema, the spiritual philosophy founded by Aleister Crowley. Welcome to entry-level Occultism.
My particular interest in this essay however is not the nature of life and living but rather our perception of life and how we should choose to live it. Given the complexity of life, is the answer to living it perhaps, to simplify it? It is this question that the quote at the beginning of this essay inspires in me. It makes me wonder if I am not doing myself a disservice by overthinking. Given the trail of mad and depressed philosophers and artists that litter the landscape of human existence, I am inclined to agree.
When I was much younger, in secondary. I had trouble learning maths. I had trouble learning pretty much anything. Part of it was a memorisation problem. I could barely focus for more than a couple of minutes to keep anything in my head. But the larger part of it was overthinking. When I would have to answer a question in mathematics or economics, instead of working with the information provided, I would remember all these other concepts and ideas I had learnt in the course of my life (I was an only child and I read a lot) and start to apply them to the particular problem I was solving.
So I would be answering a question about the price of a product, then I would start to consider other factors that might affect the setting of that price like corporate greed, and law and politics and the amount of money the buyers have, instead of simply adding say cost and profit (it is more complex in an economics exam but you get the picture, I hope). If you have written an exam before, you can tell how this can only lead to tears.
This behaviour stuck with me up till University. I would be going over problems with friends and after solving a particular question, I would interject with a ‘what about’ this. Everyone would say, naturally, "you're overthinking it. We are at the answer already"
I like to account for every factor. Every variable, every possibility. Life is just so vast and complex that I am convinced that nothing can be simple. I am not a believer in the supernatural, but I do believe that on a planet of 7+ billion people, and the vast universe, there are forces that influence the result of our actions far beyond what we can see, and possibly, comprehend. Even with the best-laid plans, things hardly ever go the way we expect.
For example, before a conversation, I tend to plan out the things I am going to say ahead of time. I try to anticipate the responses of the other party and how I would like to respond. Of course, it never plays out the way I expect. (I suppose that is one reason I find conversations with people equal parts nerve-wracking and fascinating. The novelty of the opinions of each person. The opportunity to learn from them.) Despite all my agonising over the fact, I cannot ever seem to be prepared enough.
Until now, I have assumed that it could only be that way. Not because I am unaware of an alternative or unable to see the benefits of the alternative, but rather, because I had yet to come across a convincing argument to consider it. It was not until listening to this clip from Artificial Intelligence with Lex Fridman where Sheldon Solomon quotes Kierkegaard talking about a class of people who "tranquillize themselves with trivialities" to free themselves from the shackles of existence, or rather the contemplation of existence.
Perhaps, I am concerning myself with the whole of creation, when I should be taking in the piece of ground in front of my nose. Perhaps, only by living in the moment can I be at peace with my place in the world. Like trying to run a really heavy application on a phone or computer with limited RAM, how can I even begin to find happiness when I am already overtaxing the resources available to my mind?
We tranquillise ourselves with the trivial when we procrastinate the things we need to do. When we agonize over which Instagram filter makes us look most unlike ourselves. We are tranquillized with deciding which restaurants to eat, and what brands to wear, and where to shop. But who is to say that we should enjoy the trivial? And if life is what we make of it, and our experiences, are trivialities then not a matter of perception?
Questions of existence have stumped man since the dawn of time. It appears infinitely more trivial to spend one’s limited time engaged in such a potentially fruitless pursuit. Why ponder the meaning of a rose, when you can just smell it?
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